The heebie-jeebies

The bells on the front door jingled as I entered the seemingly empty store.  An oldie rock radio station was crackling over the intercom.  I couldn’t help but think to myself that this could be the perfect setting for a horror movie scene.  You know, the one where the unsuspecting young woman all by herself gets attacked by some axe wielding psychopath?  I did a double check over my shoulder just to be safe. I wonder what would happen if someone actually did try to attack me. 

Ever since I watched Miss Congeniality as a kid I remembered to “S.I.N.G”.  Solar-plexus, instep, nose, groin.  Although I have a feeling that I would end up dead from hesitating too long.  I have never had the opportunity to defend myself but sometimes at night I dream this dream where I am faced with two options, find my inner beast and fight for my life, or give up and surrender to the unknown death.  It could be some deep psychological battle with psyche.  Maybe the beast represents my fear of being alone?  Either way, I wake up before knowing whether I became beast or eternally banished.How anticlimactic I think to myself while rolling my eyes.

“Anything I can help you with, Ma’am?” A wrinkled old man asked from the next aisle over.

“Shit!” I shrieked as I jumped out of my own skin.  “Sorry – I didn’t see you there. Uh, no I am okay thank you.  Just stocking up one some food and camping supplies for a weekend away” I replied while subtly double checking his hands were axe-free.

“Which way are yaheadin’?  Got good tires on that unit?”  The man asked while gesturing to my new 2015 Jeep Cherokee.  A sense of pride swelled within my chest at this opportunity to talk about my most recent achievement.

“Oh yes sir, she’s great on these roads.  I have my winter tires on and she’s got 4x4” I replied while trying to act like a seasoned back woods driver.  Damn I should have thrown on my plaid button down jacket I thought while looking down at my navy blue Banana Republic Pea Coat.  He can probably smell the city from a mile away.

“You must be from the city, huh?” Busted.

“How could you tell?”  I jokingly ask while gesturing to my outfit.

“We don’t get a whole ‘lotta new folk in these parts of the woods in the winter.  Not many people brave enough to head on out there.  Or dumb enough” He wheezes out a dry laugh.

“Oh I am just out for the weekend staying in a friend’s trailer; I am meeting a large group out there.  I will be plenty safe” I say with my most convincing smile.

“Suit yourself miss!  You’re definitely gonna want one of these” He limped over to the shelf along the back wall to retrieve a package of some sort.  As he hobbled his way back to me I saw that it was a safety kit.  Fully equipped with all the bells and whistles.  Literally there were bear bells and whistles in it.  “Oh and you will definitely not want to take any chances” He said with a serious tone as he handed me a large hunting knife tucked into a leather case.

“Nope, of course not” I said growing more and more uneasy.  There was something in his eyes. Like a secret that was begging to come out.  Must be this creepy little town giving me the heebie-jeebies. I reasoned with myself briefly then decided to wrap up my shopping and get back out on the road.

Dark approached rapidly as I set out on our final leg of the journey.  I quickly pushed aside my hesitation of arriving at dark when I remembered why I was going in the first place.....

To be continued next week!!

xx

MM

Highway to Hell

Slow down, Emmaline!I could hear Grandma shouting in my head.  You need to pull over and calm down, smarten up right now!
“Shut up! You aren’t real! Get. Out. Of. My. Head!”  I swerved between two lanes trying to pass the slower cars on the highway. I looked at myself in the rear view mirror.  Shit I look like a mess. My normally blizzard-blue eyes were swollen and tainted red. My cheeks were paler than normal – if that’s even possible. Beyond my face I could see Nika in the back looking at me expectantly.  “No run today, Nika” I am doing one better.  We are going on an adventure.
I have never been much of a spontaneous person.  Having two glasses of wine instead of one was just about as spontaneous as I got.  I graduated highschool early with honours, accepted a scholarship to business school and started working the week after graduation.  I had this list in my mind of things I needed to do in life.  None of the objects on that list resembled adventure in the least.
Step one:  get a college education.  Check.  Step two: start a career at a promising company. Check. Step three:  buy a reliable SUV and find a nice place for Nika and I to live. Check and check.  I get asked all of the time why I am still single.  After some reflection I realized it wasn’t on the list.  I saw my girlfriends being completely destroyed by sub-par boys who wouldn’t know the meaning of chivalry if it smacked them on the back of the head.  I saved the “love” task for later.  Well later came, and I am still alone. Alone in this car speeding down the highway.  Ironically I have my bags packed to get out of town so I could be alone.  Joke is on me, I could be surrounded by a million people and still be alone.

Emmaline was jolted out of her self-reflected daze by the blue tooth ringing over her car speaker. It was Jenny’s name popping up on the caller ID.
“Hey Jen” Emmaline distractedly answered.
“Hey girl!On your way yet?  I sent directions to your phone on how to get out there.  There should still be plenty of gas in the generator and the keys to the trailer are under the woodpile behind it”
“You are a saint, thank you so so much for letting me stay out there.  I need this”
“No worries hun!  Are you ready to tell me what happened yet?”
“Ahh not yet. Let’s just say if I like it out there, I may not ever come back!” Although her sarcasm was obvious, she couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to stay gone.
Jenny and her boyfriend Mack have a holiday trailer that they keep parked out at this hidden gem of a spot.  Although it is a long 10 hour drive into the middle of snowy nowhere, it was the only place Emmaline could think of where she could get away and sort out the pile of shit that fell on her this afternoon.  Luckily they never visit it in the winter so it is all hers for as long as she likes.  Emmaline figured after a weekend of solitude she could have a solid plan on what to do next.  Start a new to-do list.

“Okie dokie missy!  Wish I was able to get out there and keep you company. Maybe I could see if I-“
“-NO!It’s totally okay” I interjected.  “I will be fine.  Who knows, maybe I will meet the Snow-man of my dreams” I jokingly add.  I could hear the worry in her voice.  It is not like me to pack up and become a mountain woman in the middle of winter.  And when I say winter, I mean WINTER!  -40 degrees celcius was on the forecast for the next month and a half.  Luckily my snow gear from highschool still fits me.  Grandma also left me grandpa’s snow shoes in her will. They were practically relics but did the job.  I don’t even have to worry about Nika out in the snow.  I always joke about her being half wolf.  If you could see her dashing through the mounds of snow you would understand. Her muscles stretch and contract as she chases her next “prey”.  Lucky for my sanity her favorite things to chase are snowballs.

“Speaking of men, Adam has been asking about you.  He really wants me to give him your number.  I think you should give him a chance!  Who knows, maybe he could be the one to take down that giant wall of yours” Jenny has made it her mission to find me “the man of my dreams” ever since she found hers, in Mack. “When was the last time you got laid anyways?  Girls have needs too..”
“Jen, I can meet my needs on my own thank you very much” I comically add to avoid the Adam question.
“It’s not the same Em!”  Tell me about it.  The last guy I was romantically interested was a handsome blonde, blue eyed engineer who did and said all the right things.  That is, until one night where we both had a little too much wine.  Let’s just say the “event” was a huge waste of three minutes.  Call me naïve but deep down I believe that one day I will meet the man who challenges me in every aspect humanly possible.  I want my mind blown with toe-curling passion while animalistic moans escape from my lips. Yea, okay, I am naïve.
I took her long silence as a cue to surrender “Okay, okay! Maybe when I come back.  I just don’t want to think about this right now, is that fair?”
“Totally fair, he can wait a little bit longer” Jenny chuckles. “Well I left all of the instructions for you in my message so you should be all good.  Be careful out there on your own.  There have been a lot of animal attacks reported lately.  Keep your bear spray close.”
“I will carry it always!  Thanks again babe.  I will call when I get back” I hung up before she had a chance to distract me with anything else.
Eyes back on the road, I cranked up my satellite radio.  “Gotta get away” by the black keys blared through my speaker.  Hilarious. I thought.
Thought you would like that.  Grandma interrupted.  I remembered my angry outburst at her minutes earlier.  Guilt immediately surged through me.
“I am so sorry!  I know you’re real, kind of.  Well I am not sure actually.  But if you are, I don’t mean to hurt your feelings.  I just don’t want you to talk me out of this”
Oh honey, I am not going to talk you out of anything.  If you want to go and be a secluded old mountain woman, go for it! I just wanted you to slow down your driving!  I hate to be the one to remind you, but at this present moment you can’t really afford a speeding ticket right now…
“Ugh don’t remind me” I groaned.
This is a good opportunity for you, my sweet girl. After your parents died I held you too close to me.  I couldn’t bear the thought of losing you like I did your parents.  I can see clearly now.  You must find your own way, Emmaline. You may not believe it now but fate has brought you to this point.  From here on out you won’t be hearing from me.  Not because I want to leave you, but you need to do this on your own.  You will hear from me again, but not until the time is right.
“What?  Why are you saying that?”
I was met by a deafening silence.
“Grandma? What do you mean ‘fate has brought me to this point’?”
More silence.
With a heavy heart and tear filled eyes I accepted that familiar cool feeling of loneliness that started to creep in once again.
A whimpering noise interrupted this cold realization.  “Sorry baby girl!  Time to pee?”  It’s been 6 hours on the road so far without stopping yet. My bladder was starting to beg my attention as well.  I saw a sign for a town 5km away. “Almost there Nika, almost there.”
I pulled into what seemed to be a ghost town.  ‘Crestley pop.500’ the welcome sign said.  “Oh great, well this is the last town we will hit until we get there, hopefully they have a grocery store to stock up on, hey girl?”  Nika cocked her head to the side as if she was silently condemning me for talking to a dog.  Marley’s market was up ahead on the left and surprisingly at 9:00 pm it was still open.

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Thanks for tuning in for this weeks portion of "The Beast Within"! There will be another post, same time next week.  Check in to see where Emmaline is going next, or at least trying to.

As always, leave comments to let me know your thoughts!

xx
MM

Boardrooms and Bullshit

Focus Emmaline, my grandma whispered.  Or at least she would have if she were still alive.  Yet somehow I still hear her in my head.  Feel her sunny warmth on my back. Smell her lavender perfume as if she was just in the room. Am I crazy?  Probably.  Do I admit my conversations with my no longer existing relative?  Fuck no.

It’s been 3 years and 5 months since I last saw her, moments before she was gone.  Those moments still haunt me.  Witnessing the life evaporating from her weak childlike body changed me.  Like a door opened in the back of my mind connecting me to whatever came “next”.  Heaven?Valhalla?Nirvana?I call it the after land.   Wherever she is, she is still looking out for me like she has been all of my life since my parents died.  Strange to think that my Grandma can interject anytime she wants yet I haven’t heard from my parents since the day of the car accident that took them from me 20 years ago. Vanished. Eventually my memories of them vanished as well.

I could interpret this spiritual mumbo-jumbo as insanity, but some deep seeded feeling or intuition is urging me that it is real.  It has to be.

“Emmaline?”This time it was not my granny ghost. Somewhere lost in quizzical thoughts I forgot that I was in the middle of a post season recap meeting. I blinked twice, bringing myself back to the present and notice my boss, Gwen, staring at me with a disapproving look from behind her fashionable cat eye glasses.

“uh-ya yes! Here” Emmaline could feel the heat of embarrassment ignite in my pale ivory cheeks.

“Yes… I see that you are. Do you have access to the sales promotion reports from last month?”  Of course the one time she acknowledges me in this entire meeting is to ask for something that I did not have prepared.  Don’t get me wrong, I love my job.  I am in purchasing for a large women’s fashion apparel company in Calgary, Alberta.  So basically, I shop for a living.  Or at least I like to pretend I do.  I am the person who runs reports, fixes problems, deals with orders and runs around like a chicken with its head cut off.

“I, uh, couldn’t print it off due to our system failure this morning..”  An awkward silence followed.

“Well that won’t do us a whole lot of good now will it?  Jacob, please pull up the report on the projector for all of us to see” Gwen requested with unnerving annoyance.

“No problem!”  The always chipper Jacob replied while giving me a quick glance of pity.  ‘Thanks Jacob.  You little know-it-all geek’. I thought to myself while pretending to look at something else on my laptop.

Breathe, Emmaline. Let it go and carry on.  Also, stop biting your nails!  I swiftly removed my thumb nail from my mouth and sat up straighter.  Granny always knew how to snap me out of my self-pitying funk.

“Does anyone have an idea why our sales didn’t take off during our big sale in week 40?”  Gwen asked while scanning over the report.  I could see the wheels of frustration turning in her head.  She was quite a pretty woman.  Tall, long dark hair, physically fit.  She was relentless in the boardroom, always working late hours to ensure her selections and business was running smoothly.  Constantly brainstorming better ways to run her business, she became a force to be reckoned with in the industry.  I wanted to be her from my very first day working at Freedom Fashions head office.  Powerful and in charge.  She embodied exactly what I thought my future looked like.  Until I found out that she had 3 divorces on her record.  From how my dating life has been so far in my 23 years of life I realized that I was grooming myself to be a mini-Gwen.

“I might have an idea” I hesitantly interjected.

Go on honey, be brave.

“Yes?”  Gwen looked at me with what seemed to be either a surprised or amused look on her face.  With her, it is hard to tell.  I nervously twirled a strand of my long ice blonde hair around my finger and carried on.

“Well I was doing a little research comparing our promotions plan to that of our biggest competitor. And it kind of seems as though they are piggy-backing our promotional offers” I pulled out a line chart I created that illustrated how our competitor, “Ella’s Elegance” started their sales the day after we launched ours. “Not only have they used the same sales message and dates, they are also offering a deeper discount, personally if I had to choose as a customer, I would go to Ella’s too…”

“That’s impossible” Gwen muttered. “There is no way they could have their sale signs and computer systems ready for a sale in 1 day.”  A look of clarity quickly masked by fury came across her face.

“Oh –I didn’t think that deep into it” I stated, although secretly I had.  I put two and two together weeks ago when I recognized a pattern. I had hoped that Gwen would have noticed as well.  Only three people on our team had access to the promotional marketing plan and that was Gwen, Jacob, and I.  I sure as hell didn’t leak it.  That’s when I started thinking.  Why would Jacob purposely leak information to our biggest competitor?  He had only been with the company for 5 months!  I was coming up to my second year work anniversary in a few weeks at the end of November; my loyalty was unwavering no matter how much Gwen stressed me out. Technically I had seniority over him and if I were in his position, I would be doing everything I could to prove myself.  A cloud of suspicion churned inside of me like a swarm of grey gathering for a storm.  I looked into Jacob’s background on Facebook and while clicking through his tagged photos I found one of him last summer drinking a beer with the daughter or Ella’s Elegance, Ella.  I found it hugely ironic that the company decided to put the word “elegance” next to her name.  Her bikini barely covered her nipples!  Anyways, without evidence, I only had a strong gut feeling.  To which my grandmother conceded in my mind with: What a little prick!

That is when I came to my next plan of action.  Lay the puzzle pieces out in front of Gwen and let her piece them together.  Mission accomplished.

“Thanks for your initiative, Emmaline.  I will look into it.” I bet you will.

Feeling like a vigilante saving our company from the death grip of a villain, I gathered my laptop and notes and headed back to my cubicle.  I could hear Gwen call Jacob into her office as I was shuffling my papers trying to look busy. I eavesdropped on Gwen’s sharp accusatory tone.  Poor little Jacob.  Teacher’s pet is getting put back in a cage I thought.  After a few moments their voices became very hushed.  Twenty minutes later Jacob exited her office and walked straight past my desk with a smug look on his face.  I never understood why guys who knew very well that they couldn’t grow facial hair, tried.  Jacob’s greasy mustache was barely visible, but visible enough to give me the creeps.  I can’t believe I thought this guy was just a whimpering nerd.  Replace the word whimpering with diabolical and that describes Jacob bang on.  Oh well, he won’t be here for much longer. I have never set out to purposely have someone fired before, but there was something about what he was doing that just wasn’t right and needed to be stopped.

“Emmaline, I need to speak with you in my office, now” Gwen said as she popped her head out of her corner office.

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Thanks for reading the first excerpt of "The Beast Within"!  Check in next Thursday to find out what happens next, Emmaline is just full of surprises.

Please leave comments, I would love to hear from you!

xx
MM

The monster at its best..

The Monster.At its best. Transforms and transforms. Like a dream – Mate. Responding to every Nuance of desire.

- Clive Barker

Welcome to "The Beast Within"

Emmaline spent most of her life surviving.  Surviving the loss of her parents at a young age, her grandparent guardians not far after, and now she is on the biggest survival quest of all. The beast within follows the adventures of Emmaline, a spirited and unknowingly "gifted" young woman who finds herself snow deep in a unforgiving forest full of secrets, murder, and possibly love.

xx
MM